Back in the late 1990s/early 2000s, I started watching a lot of LGBT movies, and thankfully, I wasn’t lacking for options between Netflix and the local video stores. Some of the movies weren’t great, but when you’re desperate to see even the tiniest hint of yourself represented in films, you take what you can get.
One of those not great movies was The Velocity of Gary. In a nutshell, it’s about a hustler named Gary (Thomas Jane) who falls in love with a former adult star named Valentino (Vincent D’Onofrio) who has a girlfriend named Mary Carmen (Salma Hayek). The arrangement is interesting and complicated and, eventually, sad (because a lot of LGBT movies back then had to go for the emotional jugular). I saw a review that called it a “poor execution of a good idea,” and I think that really does sum it up. I don’t hate it, but it definitely could have been better.
However, despite the issues with this movie, it does have one very nice thing going for it. And that would be this:
One thing I love about vampire stories is seeing various approaches to their existence. Different stories will tweak their strengths and weaknesses in different ways, and I can honestly say that I’m not so hardcore in my own opinions that I can’t appreciate another person’s interpretation (unlike my unwavering belief that zombies should never be able to sprint or do parkour and ninja moves). There may be one or two exceptions to this, but overall, it’s all good.
As I was looking back through some old notes, I came across a very detailed breakdown of what I once wanted out of my vampires. Apparently they could walk around during the daytime and eat food because of… reasons? I’m glad I changed my mind about that, although one of my favorite vampire movies ever—the original Fright Night—featured a vampire who ate fruit, and I was totally cool with that. (Christopher Sarandon explained that it had to do with his character’s genealogy and fruit bats… it made a certain kind of sense.)
Okay, not really. But about four years into my relationship with my not-yet-husband, I remember that he was horrified by the fact that I had somehow managed to make it to my twenties without ever having seen a Star Wars film and pretty much demanded that I accompany him to the Special Edition viewings. This was worded in a way that did lead me to briefly speculate that he might question his decision to continue a relationship with someone who had absolutely no knowledge of the Force. 😀 So I did, thinking that I would be bored as hell. But I wasn’t. Like most things I take a liking to, I basically inhaled everything about the trilogy, and the books, and the whatever else. And here we are, twenty-something years later, and still together. Thanks, Star Wars. Continue reading “That one time when Star Wars almost ruined my relationship”→